"I believed that Jesus loved me, but somehow I was also terrified of God. ... even though I truly thought I believed in the Three-In-One Triune God, I saw them as separate. Jesus was the loving Son who stood between me and the vengeful Father. The Holy Spirit was an amorphous blob ..."

That was my experience, as well. Eventually, my relationship with God morphed into a "sometimes-afraid, sometimes-trusting" one. When I was in my early 30s, I decided to see if God wasn't limited to one religion and went looking. It has been a long and difficult journey. I no longer believe in eternal torment, but that doesn't mean I'm not still afraid of it from time to time.

By a circuitous route, I finally landed with a Hindu goddess, who is God to me. My belief about deity is basically the Hindu one; and I have adopted several views from that religion, though I have not claimed it. I think we have to learn who God is through experience; sometimes religion helps, sometimes the opposite. Despite the shortcomings of institutionalized Christianity, I also know God is at work and can be encountered there, as well as other places.

I am utterly convinced, however, that Jesus is at the center of everything. I'm baffled theologically by the idea that His sacrifice resulted in man's redemption; but that was confirmed by an ecstatic experience of a Kali-worshipping, 19th-century Hindu mystic, who encountered Christ and announced Him the "Redeemer of the World." He didn't convert, however, and went on worshipping Kali. Hinduism will let you do that. :)