I have long identified as a woman, because I know I am female; yet there is no denying that I am different from cis women. So, what am I? I'm not cis. I'm something else. I'm female, but I don't fit into the nice, neat, cis category. I am different. I can't pretend this isn't true. I can't ignore it.

I think this may be *the* existential question for trans women: How do we frame our existence? I have never been a fan of the label, "third gender," because I am female. I'm not something weird and undefined. I'm a girl! But I am definitely not like the vast majority of other girls out there. I differ in ways that are significant; there's no ignoring that.

I'm not sure what to do with this. Most of the time, I don't think about it; but, then, I spend most of my time alone.

I know that my existence means something; I just have no idea what that is. In this context of ignorance, I can choose hope or I can choose despair. Hope is better, so I choose hope.

I don't know what the heck I am; but I know that, whatever it is, there's a girl at the heart of it.