I'm glad the first thing you mentioned was the tree; otherwise I might have passed your post by, relegating it to my second-tier reading. Nothing personal; there just isn't time to read everything.

There was a significant amount of magical thinking in my childhood as well. Unlike you, I didn't know I was trans; I lived in a very hostile environment and many things about me were repressed long into my adult years. Incidentally, something I've thought about is whether I would rather have known -- because kids who know are more likely to attempt self-harm, while kids who don't, like me, just chalk up the hell they feel as "one more torment" to deal with, cause unknown, just get through the day. Yet, if I had known, I would at least have known who I was. I can't decide which is better, and I like to think things happened to me as they did because, had I known, I might have made the wrong decision. So, it was a grace.

But the feeling you mentioned with trees (and worms on hooks) is something deep with me. When I was in my mid-30s, I even spent time talking to a few of them; and I thought they talked back. Maybe they did. When my decorator suggested I put a tree in my apartment, I was shocked. I told her, I could never do that to a tree. I'm surprised she seemed to understand -- at least, if not, she pretended to.

Besides these, there are a few other significant points of overlap between your life and mine.

Oh, and I took your suggestion and followed you.