I've spent a good bit of time thinking about this longing, with particular attention to its relationship to envy, because envy is a virulent poison and it has negatively affected my life. I believe it is also a problem for many others.

We will never be what we wish we were: women born in the right body; growing up without the conflict of societal pressure, both external and internalized; growing up with the constant reinforcing reaffirmation of who we are in relation to the rest of the human family ... the list goes on.

More and more frequently in recent days and weeks, I am emotionally cognizant of how separate and apart I am from what the vast majority of women experience; and I ask myself, How am I to deal with that?

The notion that we are "real" women is a belief we hold to give meaning to our suffering. We experience gender dysphoria and latch onto this meme because it "explains" why we suffer. Is it true, in an objective sense? We cannot prove it, any more than those who argue against it can disprove it; it's simply a belief. What we do know, however, and can prove is that we function far better and far more happily living as women and identifying as women than we do the opposite.

While the bathroom laws in my State make it risky for me to use public restrooms, this is the only real challenge I experience to my self-identification as a woman; I am never directly assaulted by people accusing me of masquerading as one. But I have gone over the question in my mind very frequently, especially when I have read such attacks by people in articles; and my answer for such people is, "I believe I am a woman, but, no, I can't prove it. What I can prove is that, for whatever reason, identifying and living as a woman works better for me than the alternative. And that's enough for me, and should be enough for other people."