Thank you for sharing that you were raised fundamentalist. It makes it easier to respond.

Biblical literalism now seems to me a profound evil. I think it has its roots in two earths: (a) the need for structure (and law), and (b) the desire to bind others. I think it is wrong to fault those who make Scripture into a new Law -- different in form, but not in essence -- out of need; and I know that God uses the Bible to touch hearts. The life is in the Spirit, not the words themselves; but it can be easy to confuse the two. And when you are raised in an atmosphere of judgment in which doctrinal perfection is treated as necessary to avoid eternal torment, it can be very hard to extricate oneself from that fear, regardless of what your mind tells you.

I once heard an Orthodox priest say, with some reluctance, that it might be necessary for some people to leave Christianity for awhile in order to resolve this sort of pain. I was quite surprised to hear him say that; but that has been my own experience. I have never left Christ; but I have left the religion, and I no longer regard the Bible as inerrant. I learned what it meant to be loved unconditionally through relationship with a Hindu Goddess; and I was amazed to discover through my relationship with Her that I was able to feel love for the Christian God again.

I have traveled a rough and rocky road in my life, spiritually speaking; but I have been blessed and protected all the way. I sometimes find it difficult to accept how hard it can be; but I've been told it's supposed to be hard, and I try to accept that.