"Thus, it is reasonable to argue that wearing a dress does not inherently make you a girl.

"However, if you take the argument that gender identity is innate to us all and is an expression of self-understanding, then if you perceive yourself as a girl you become drawn to what the society around you states in feminine."

This is the best expression of this idea I've ever seen. I've had trouble formulating it, myself.

"This is the critique trans children hold to the world around them, not that they are inherently the gender they state they are, but that to externaliz that gender identity they embrace the societal norms for that gender."

I don't understand the first half of this sentence, but the second half is another spot-on.

"This is a mirror that works both ways, for if society had broader conceptions of masculine and feminine then gender expression would be more of a spectrum for trans kids."

I don't think muddying the waters of gender expression is a good thing, actually. There is a reason that children with gender divergence embrace the forms culturally associated with the gender with which they identify. Without those clear associations, they would have a more difficult time exploring their own identities.

This leads to a broader observation, that children need clarity: firm groundings in black-and-white before they are ready to handle subtle shades of gray. I am not a fan of deconstructing gender identity until gender itself evaporates conceptually; and that is where the arguments of the more radical elements of trans activism lead. While children may grow up to identify with a more nuanced gender identity, in the beginning they are drawn to one pole or the other -- and this is how it should be. Self-concept is a gradual, gentle, emergent process; and, if you throw everything (including the kitchen sink) at little kids, it will hopelessly confuse them.

This is not a call to dogmatism. It is to say, rather, that, as children are discovering their world and creating the conceptual structures upon which their future discoveries and awareness will hang, we must paint with broad strokes. If they discover nuance on their own ... well, that's the point, isn't it? Let each child learn at his or her own speed.